And fallen, fallen light renew

High tech, high fantasy D&D game, uses 5^th edition rules

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Marvel movies are graded on a curve.

We all know this. Sometimes they’re really very good movies — I’ve certainly enjoyed a few of them. But sometimes, they’re capable of getting away with things that other films would be (and often are) excoriated for. When Avengers came out, I pointed out at the time that the level of property destruction in the film was staggering. We’re talking thousands of casualties and billions upon billions of dollars to repair it. Buildings were collapsing like an enthusiastic game of Jenga played by drunks. Yet Avengers was beloved by all, despite its flaws.

Both Age of Ultron and Civil War got away with cinematic sins far greater than any of the DC movies, because Marvel movies are graded on a curve.

Avengers: Infinity War would be getting lukewarm reviews at best if it were not the culmination of 10 years of films in the Marvel Studios umbrella. Is it a terrible movie? No, not at all.  It’s fun to watch. But even while you’re watching it, sitting there absorbing the plot immediately brings you to certain conclusions.

I’m about to rail about these conclusions. There will be spoilers. A lot of them. Don’t read on if you don’t want them.

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Harrakar

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Okay, we’ve all heard about that idiotic National Review article about how the womens don’t write science fiction, right? This one? The one arguing against the Bechdel Test? Yeah, I probably shouldn’t even bother and I definitely shouldn’t link it since reading the piece won’t add anything of value to your life. But I wanted to talk about this premise.

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I recently submitted a pitch to a website that was asking for essays about being a disabled writer. Being that I’m going blind, I thought it was a decent fit. The response was your typical polite rejection – fairly toothless, the kind of rejection that says “We don’t really care but thanks anyway” in the nicest way possible – but one of the things that really hit me in the gut was when they said “It’s an interesting idea and you should write it anyway.”

Like this was fun for me.

The only reason I had even bothered to submit the pitch was that I need new publication credits. That was it. I’m in my 40’s and I’m going blind, I need career traction now. That’s the fact, and I’m not going to sugar coat it or pretend otherwise. I have to be mercenary about this. No one else is going to do it for me.

But I decided after tweeting some petulant shit that I would, in fact, write the essay anyway. That there was no reason not to, and a few good reasons (like the preservation of what little sanity I have left) to do it. So here goes. Here’s an essay about what it is like to be a writer whose eyes are slowly deteriorating.

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I’m an absolutely terrible salesman. But I’m the only salesman I have, and so, I’m going to try and talk up my work here, on my blog, without doing any of the usual self-deprecation or self-effacement I usually do in these situations. The truth is, if I don’t present myself as believing in my work, why would you even be interested in reading it?

And I do believe in my work. I believe in it so much that despite going blind, despite repeatedly having to go in and let them inject me in both eyes and endure having lasers burn holes in my retinas, I made sure I finished these books. That’s how much I believe in it, and how much it means to me. « Read the rest of this entry »

I’m still doing a giveaway of my book Heartless if people email me asking for it, but while I’m at it, here’s something my friend Pete and I worked on a while back. It’s not finished and we’ve since changed direction on it like twice, but it’s still pretty cool in my opinion. August 5 1997

It’s free so that’s a plus. Enjoy. Feel free to let me know if you liked it. We’d like to bring the characters back again someday.

I’m married to a woman. I love her. I think I might curl up into a ball and die if she left or I lost her. I have no interest in being with anyone else. These are all true statements.

I am bisexual. This is also a true statement.

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You’ve likely heard the saying about depression being a liar, how it tells you awful things about yourself that paralyze you. That’s true. I’m not going to belabor that, but I do want to talk about how that paralysis can ruin you.

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